That Time I Went To California With My Brother

Holiday Road I met up with Mikey and since we both had no money we hostile-hopped for most of the nights. We mostly stayed in the LA area with the exception of when we drove up to Santa Barbara to wine taste. We did all of the touristy stuff because, guess what… we were tourists. Standing at the Griffith Observatory we spotted the Hollywood Sign. “It doesn’t look that far”, we both thought so we started walking. About 900 hours walking up a mountain on goat trails with all of our luggage we finally arrived, not without a foot injury for Michael though. Beverly Hills was time to ball out, and by ball out I mean we got a cheap hotel in Beverly Hills. Instead of our usual In N’ Out burger for dinner we decided to actually ball out and go to a fancy restaurant called Terrine (Opened by Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Mitchell from Modern Family). I did not belong and that was evident throughout the night. I ordered a bud light and the bartender scoffed at me like I just asked for crayons and a paper placemat. I got a bourbon-something and tipped him anyway because I’m a pussy. After sitting down and getting the cheapest appetizer (which was the greatest dip I’ve ever had in my life until it was prematurely taken away before I could lick the plate clean) I got the chicken. Normal, right? That is until it came in like a roasting pan type dish. Impossible to cut chicken in what is essentially a bowl. I picked up the chicken with my hands and sucked the bones dry right in everyones grill because thats how I roll.

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Santa Monica was our last destination. Nothing too much happened here except for a drunk Russian businessman not knowing US currency and giving the bartender exceptionally large tips, buying me and Mike three of the most disgusting shots of something, and then getting kicked out by the bouncer for god knows what. The next day I bought a bus ticket, said goodbye to Mikey, and was on my way to Vegas. Somewhere in the Pacific



  1. Butch's Better Half · April 21, 2015

    Good Afternoon Vincent, I have noticed in the picture above that you are not wearing a bathing suit, but in fact are wearing boxer briefs. Is there any correlation between boxers briefs as opposed to bathing suits? Welp, See ya later!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vincent Martorelli · April 21, 2015

      Good eye Mr Butch. I am in fact wearing boxers, not boxer briefs. I believe they give you more freedom to let the speedbag do its own thing. I wore them instead of a bathing suit because they were hella stylish Gap brand and I just wanted to show them off.


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