We left off with me boarding the bus to go to Las Vegas. It was actually scarier than anticipated. I was traveling with thousands of dollars worth of nerd-gear throughout the trip: Macbook Pro, iPad, extra iPhone 5, GoPro, and multiple hard drives. I’m gonna stereotype everyone in the area but lets just say I didn’t know downtown LA was so… suspicious. A lot of sketchy characters. My bus was no different. The good news though is that not only was I not the only white guy, but the other white guy was a big fat nerd with a guitar. Score! If anyone is getting mugged it would probably be him (Remember this guy. He will make another appearance later). Either way, I still wrapped my bag straps around my ankles when I slept. Precautions.
The bus ride went smoothly. Some little black baby stared at me the entire time, but honestly, he was hella cute so he got a pass. I arrived in Vegas at about 6:30pm on March 4th at the Riviera Hotel & Casino. I didn’t have a place to stay nor did I have a plan so thats where I stayed the first couple days. For those who have not been, the Riviera is almost at the top of the strip. It is a picture perfect definition if you are trying to picture what Las Vegas would look like in the 90’s. No LED lights, no fancy signs, just about a billion old school light bulbs make up the signs. I didn’t do much the first couple days except for walk up and down the strip 700 times. Las Vegas is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
After my stay at the Riviera I decided to stay at the southern part of the strip. I booked a room at some cheap little motel right by the MGM Grand. Again, I just spent my days walking the strip, searching for apartments, and taking my new home base in. I found some apartments so I went around to the leasing offices and inquired. One problem, they all needed my last two pay stubs. Why was this a problem? Well my last two pay stubs were from a month ago so they would know I haven’t had work since. Fortunately, I am pretty good at photoshop so this was no problem. I changed some dates around and they were none the wiser. Danger? Ha, I walk on the wild side! I laugh in the face of danger!
After the motel I went in a totally different direction. I hopped on AirBNB (an app that lets people rent out a house, room, couch, whatever, to people) and I booked a weeks stay with some girl who was very nice and was around my age. She picked me up at the New York New York Hotel and we drove to her place. She drove a brand new Fiat (albeit dirty as hell) and when we got to her house there was an Infiniti in the driveway and a Mustang in the garage. Plus the house was a really nice house with a pool, something I was not expecting from someone around my age.
So I move into my room and she tells me that she is leaving to go to San Francisco for a couple days but her roommates will be around. That night I’m just sitting in my room, just chilling in my boxers, and I haven’t worked out in a while so I decide to do a little workout in my room. I start banging out some ab work, then I’m in the middle of a set of pushups when I hear a knock on my door. I didn’t think much of it so I opened the door and low and behold, some beautiful girl is standing there. I am in my boxers and I’m sweating and out of breath, you do the math at what she thinks I was doing. “I….I…I… was doing pushups”, I said, she just gave me a puzzled look and introduced herself while laughing at me, her name was Hannah. Well… ruined that chance. But like I said, she was great.
Something was off about these girls though. For one, they drove really nice cars without going to work during the day. It wasn’t until Hannah told me she had work that night and she started getting ready at like 8pm, walking around the house without much clothing on. I saw her in her “work outfit” and I put it all together, these girls were all strippers. Honestly, I should’ve just stayed there forever. Unfortunately, I found an apartment that had a great location and was reasonably nice, and most important of all, cheap. I pay $600 a month and I live on UNLV’s campus right next to the Hard Rock Hotel. I do not know how that is legal but I’m doing it.
For those of you that are worried about my life. Remember how I said to remember that other white guy who was on the bus from LA with me? Well it turns out I’m doing a lot better than that guy. I see him all the time up on the crosswalks either playing his guitar for money (he is not good) or literally stripping into his underwear and holding up a sign that says “I’m bringing sexy back” (he’s not, although he makes more money with this approach so maybe he is).
See mom. I’m doing great!